6.1

Priorities

I was a very selfish child money in the ways of money.  In first grade, our teacher handed out to each of us little presents according to where we were most talented.  I got little chocolate coins because I was the best at counting money.  At the time, my thought was, “Yum!  Chocolate!”  But now I look back and think, “Oh my goodness, was that really the part about me that stuck out the most?  Really?”  And truly, thinking back, I was always super good at counting me and remembering debts my family owed me when they borrowed money.  I hoarded money like it was going out of style and counted it regularly.  My brothers and I would have “sales” of our stuff that the others may want and I would somehow work it out that I would get the better deals out of either of them and come out with more money than them.  I once took something back from Andrew without giving him the money back.

I remember the turning point for though very vividly.  It was back when Matthew still played little league baseball before we moved to East Butler so it was before I was in third grade.  My mom had borrowed some money from me the previous game and I was hounding her to pay me back.  It was probably because she was in a bad mood but she snapped at me that I could not have everything be about money.  I couldn’t hoard it like I was.  Only a little bit changed right away except that I stopped hounding her to pay me back but I never forgot her words and slowly I began to change.

I think there was a while there where I completely stopped counting my money.  I would get it and stick it in my wallet in my underwear drawer in (the secret hiding place for it) and then completely forget about it.  Then, come Christmas, I would pull out about eighty or more dollars’ worth of money and go Christmas shopping for my family.  Though I probably spent money between that time and other times, I still saved up that much for Christmas.  One time, probably years after the actual incident, I felt so guilty about stealing from my little brother that I snuck twenty dollars into his underwear drawer where I knew he also stored his money.  It was way more than I took but I forgot the amount and better safe than sorry.  

Also, as I grew up further, I remained very frugal of my money but I also began to pay attention to what the Bible was saying about money and what the church was trying to teach me about money.  So, I decided at one point that money shouldn’t matter to me. 

Easier said than done.  I once forgot my purse during a basketball game at Wendy’s on the way back to the school with both my Christmas and my birthday money in it.  That equaled up to probably over $150.  The whole way back to the school, I stewed and worried and stewed some more until my mom picked me up and I burst into tears telling her the whole story.  Both my mom and my cheerleading coach were very quick to comfort me and told me that I should have told them right away rather than worry about it like that.  That was in 8^th grade.

Another time, only a few years later, I lost my lunch money pouch.  My mom would give us ten dollars each week during high school for lunch outside of the pre-ordered meals which were only on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.  While my brothers quickly spent the money on enough food for growing boys, I wouldn’t.  I wouldn’t buy more than I needed for lunch and then I would save the rest.  I would get over a hundred dollars each school year by saving that money.  One day though, I lost it.  The first few days, I told no one and only kept my own eyes open for it.  Then I told the school office about it to check if they had seen it.  Then I told my family.  And then I forgot about it.  It probably had about forty or fifty dollars in it and I just got a new change pouch for my money.  If I found it, wonderful.  If I didn’t find it, I prayed that God would direct the money to someone who needed it more than I did.  My mom did eventually find it in one of her skirts that I borrowed and she joked around about finders reward for a bit.

I still like money.  There is no doubt in my mind about that.  And I am even more frugal about my money when I was younger and would buy any book, stuffed animal, or Lisa Frank item that caught my fancy.  Now I can spend days deliberating where or not to buy a certain item before I buy it and then feel guilty afterwards for buying it.  But despite all of that, I have a healthier perspective on it than ever before.  I no longer feel the need to account for my money at all times.  Whenever I lose money for whatever reason now, rather than panic and worry about it, I pray that God would do with the money what He will.  If it comes back to me, wonderful.  Thanks, God.  If it doesn’t, wonderful.  You’re ways are higher than my ways and you’re thoughts are higher than my thoughts.  The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be His name.

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